Propped up on a bookshelf not far from my computer is a
photograph of me aged two. I’m wearing leather reigns and my maternal
grandmother is holding my shoulders. That was sixty-nine years ago and the
world was a very different place.
I have a couple of memories from that time. One is of a
dairy not far from my grandmother’s house and the other is of chickens (I
called them dubudees!) at the bottom of the garden. I understand that young
children don’t remember things at that age, but I certainly do.
Of course it might be argued that the memories came later
but my grandmother died unexpectedly a few months after the photograph was
taken. Some years later I pitched up at a boat show in that area of London and
wandered around the local streets. You can imagine my surprise when I stumbled
across the entrance to that old dairy.
The entrance was a very distinctive stone arch. The dairy
is now very smart apartments, but in my mind I could still hear the horses and
carts moving about! All that now seems so far away and this one-time bright-eyed
child has taken a curious pilgrim trail that now has him living in Paignton.
It seems to me that we all follow a trail that has so
many ‘sliding doors’. Of course they are not really sliding doors but random events
that all too often have us heading off in unexpected directions. There are
times when that change is a thought-out process, when the way ahead seems
obvious but all too often it is a consequence of advice given. Advice perhaps,
that should not have been given.
I’ve always worried about giving people advice. We all
travel our own little pilgrim trail through life and listening to advice can
have unexpected outcomes. That is certainly true when all too often the very
thing that you were looking for was already yours for the taking.
When I was a young man there were those around me who
were much older and brimming with ‘good’ advice. Popular phrases peppered my
landscape, dominated by, “If I was your age again!” Hindsight is a curious thing, but one thing
is certain and that is the fact that you cannot live the time again.
There are those who make a good living as givers of
advice. Let me hold my hands up here because I am a qualified business advisor.
Despite the qualification I have always attempted to steer away from giving
advice. I suspect that may because of my assorted qualifications in counselling
and mentoring.
I am very aware that those I am working with are on their
own journey and worry that my advice might make it my journey instead. Advice
poorly delivered can send good people on a path that will have them scratching
their heads one day in the future.
One local business is still counting the cost of a consultant’s
advice. They had a good business that captured the essence of what they were
about. The outcome of their consultation was less than palatable once the dust
had settled.
To share a journey makes seems a good thing to me and to
be fellow traveller with knowledge makes sense. I guess what I am saying is
that we should all be working for the good of all rather than following some
selfish agenda.
Perhaps we all need a friendly ‘grandmother’ from time to
time to keep the reigns on!
Meanwhile continue to keep that friendly smile and tread
lightly on the world….
